they say ignorance is bliss.

I must agree.

My foundations are being rocked and shaken. I'm frustrated, confused, and really excited. Though I don't understand or even agree with everything I've been trying to absorb from the speaker, Olu, and even other students, I do understand that it's important to take time to think about these things (I won't go into detail about what kinds of things right now, as I'm still processing them).

I'm frustrated because I feel as though I'm a "bad Christian" for having doubts. I have been raised in a society where you believe what you believe simply because you do... if that makes sense. This is the first time I've been told it's okay to doubt my faith and some aspects that come along with it. I have had the mindset my whole life that doubting is simply a "lack of faith". I'm starting to realize that doubting or questioning something is critical to strengthening my faith. Absolutely critical. If I were to take everything I have been fed my whole life without asking "Why?", I could consider myself nothing more than a Christian robot. For those reading this, I want to challenge you to ask yourself why you believe what you do. Whether you believe that God is all powerful and all good; whether you believe God is simply an idea; or whether you believe there is no god. Just ask yourself WHY you believe it.

My confusion comes from the fact that I have been asked questions about my faith, God's character, and life in general that I never would have thought to ask myself. That being said, I also don't know the answers. I'm still digesting everything.

But all of this is so exciting. Even through the irritation of being so challenged, I am thrilled to know that this is God working in my heart; refining, strengthening, and loving me. One thing I do know for sure is that God is good. He is so good.

All for Jesus.

I believe in the sun even when it isn't shining.

I believe in love even when I am alone.

I believe in God even when He is silent.